How To be a Hedge Fund Douchebag: for Dummies Edition

The politicians (and occasionally) media love to vilify “hedge funds” and “hedge fund managers” in an almost Pavlovian manner. I personally think their knee-jerk and indiscriminate hate is unwarranted (especially when your child’s spouse is a hedge fund manager). Having said that, there are times when certain hedge fund professionals live up - and exceed - the douchebag stereotype:

  • You make someone an offer. He/she accepts (after he/she has already slaved away for you before).
  • You don’t provide concrete documentation, instead telling him/her (for several) months you are “working on it”.
  • You ask them for some information, in order to “help put the package together”
  • You then send an e-mail saying the offer is now out of the table. And you offer a bullshit explanation.

Make no mistake: if you make an enemy out of my friends, you make an enemy out of me. I totally understand that sometimes circumstances merit hiring freezes, delays, etc… but otherwise?

It’s a small world and…I eagerly look forward to following your career and 13Fs.

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